Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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