Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
