Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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