I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
