everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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