I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize