yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
