Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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