I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
