If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
A bitchslap is in order.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
