I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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