I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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