I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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