some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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