Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
vagina is talking i cant
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
