he told me I talked like a deaf person
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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