so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
