Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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