If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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