i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
