I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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