so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
