HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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