how do flat chested girls get laid?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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