But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
