If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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