Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
