Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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