Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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