so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If that was your dad, he is hot
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
