This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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