you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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