I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Small penises have feelings too.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
