I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize