I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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