Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
