I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
