i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize