Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My vagina just clenched in fear
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize