i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
