you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize