sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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