Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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