...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
