I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
