he thought i was a dude.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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