I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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