she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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