That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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