You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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