remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize