Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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