nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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