Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
