Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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