Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
