Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
