Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
