Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
