i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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