Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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