Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
