First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
